If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
