Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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