one two three fourrrrnication!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
