i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
