she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The air was thick with penises
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
