That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
vagina is talking i cant
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
