My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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