forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
