we have officially lost it.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Randomize
