my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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