I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize