I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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