WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
