You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Yo dont text me then not text me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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