dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
