so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize