My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
