i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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