Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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