Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just blew my weed a kiss
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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