Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
