Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
