i don't like sucking hair
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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