Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
40s are totally the cure
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
