somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Verdict: uncircumcised.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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