How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
