How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
