So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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