I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
