For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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