I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
