Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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