Don't you send me to vm
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
