hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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