She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
True strength comes from lack of pants
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
