omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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