so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
