I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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