I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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