is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
