I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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