my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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