I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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