this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I understand Curling. That high.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
