loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
