so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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