shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
