I got chris browned last night
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
