Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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