We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
