How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
