Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
