once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
time to smoke my breakfast
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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