I think I just saw someone hide a body.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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