Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
