David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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