I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
