I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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